My breast cancer chemotherapy starts with Adrymiacin, other wise known as- ‘the red devil’! I can attest that the drug deserves this name! My nurse once told me that Adrymiacin is also the one that works really well. Keep this in mind if you are currently receiving it.

I go get my blood drawn and then go see my oncologist. After meeting with my oncologist I go to the infusion center for treatment. I look around the infusion center, and there is still a part of me that still can’t believe this is real. I see people who clearly have all different types of cancer. This does make a part of me feel fortunate that I have breast cancer. There is a man sitting across from me that is missing part of his face. He is literally missing part of his nose, cheek and mouth. But he sits quietly and does not appear to be in pain. I see a young lady who possibly has throat cancer, advanced skin cancer and another with lung cancer. All of these patients were very young. I wondered about the young girl with lung cancer. She was clearly limited in what she could do because she had an oxygen tank with her. I will not go into detail about the children in the children’s center, who all have cancer. My time at Moffitt allowed me to meet people suffering from all types of cancer; cancer of the toes, anus, jaw, endometrial, tongue cancer, etc. These are places that I didn’t think cancer grew.

I report for my first chemotherapy with my son and husband in tow. We don’t have a baby sitter and he is a very active 10 month old. I desperately want to see him grow up. While waiting for my first chemo I am shaking from being nervous. I am on the edge of tears because a part of me wants to jump off the building for a quick death as opposed to this slow painful death. My nurse is experienced and knows I am emotionally fragile. He takes time to make me comfortable before we begin. He is so happy and upbeat–he makes me laugh and I forget about the emotional pain. I get my chemo in a private room, with a television, radio and anything I could use to pass the time while the poison/medicine pumps through my veins. After about an hour and a half my nurse reports to me, he puts on a cover and goes through a system of checks with the red liquid medication. This medicine is so strong that is has to be administered slowly–so it doesn’t kill me!

Adrymiacin, This drug has a lot of side effects. One side effect is sores in your mouth and throat. First things first, you want to make sure you have magic mouthwash handy. It is basically lidocaine mouthwash. It numbs your mouth and throat which makes this awful side effect a little less horrible.  I cried all day everyday that I had sores in my throat. My suffering is beyond words.

Stay away from certain foods. Some foods can make mouth sores worse. Sharp foods, or very acidic foods, should be avoided if you want your mouth sores to heal properly.
Acidic and spicy foods tend to irritate the mouth, so stay away from things like citrus fruits and salsas. Sharp foods, and very crunchy foods, should also be avoided. Stay away from things like chips, pretzels, and crackers.  Avoid alcohol. Alcohol can irritate your mouth sores and make your symptoms more painful.

During this time I drank a lot of tea, Jello, pudding, and soup. I lost a few pounds during this time. The hunger from chemo is still there but its impossible to eat because it is an very unpleasant feeling. For me, this is when chemo became real. I understood how people loose so much weight and look sad all the time. The drug also caused a coating on my tongue. This coating made it difficult to taste food. I have a friend who still suffers from this 1 year post chemotherapy.

I have a friend who comes to visit. She cleans my kitchen and cooks me soft food that she think I can taste.  I can taste the food and I get to socialize with a friend and feel normal.  I can never thank her enough for this.