At the beach with my son.

Several people examine my breasts but no one can find a lump. The small lump under my arm was removed for biopsy. While visiting a doctor I looked around and at least 5 doctors were in the room. My breasts are out! They are all trying to find the lump. As each fail to find the lump they call for another person to come examine me. They are having casual conversation about how young I am and how its hard to believe I have cancer. My husband and son are also with me.  I feel like a side show.

A nurse/medical assistant sais, “if your gonna have cancer, breast cancer is the one you want’. He has a smirk on his face.  Dude! ReaLLy!

I go home and write my will.

I have the surgery for port installation upcoming. I have bald spots in my hair from the stress but I still have hair!! Ha,Ha….its the little things in life that bring so much joy. I have hair and BOOBS!  Everything is a struggle.  I wake up everyday for my son. My mom has passed away approximately 6 months prior to diagnosis. I wonder what I did wrong to deserve this. God Please forgive me. My entire life unfolds in my mind. I an unhappy with the choices I made. I must have done incredibly wrong because I have cancer. God, please let me fix it. Please let me raise my son.